Why you need a will, especially with young children

Dying without a will is not “no plan”: it is someone else’s plan

Dying “intestate” simply means dying without a valid will. It does not mean your affairs go unresolved; it means a state statute resolves them for you, according to a fixed default order, typically spouse and children first, then parents, then siblings, regardless of what you would have actually wanted. A probate court applies your state’s intestacy law, not your relationships, your promises, or your sense of fairness. Unmarried partners, stepchildren you never formally adopted, close friends, and favorite charities generally receive nothing under intestacy, no matter how central they were to your life. Writing a will is not optional paperwork for “someday”; it is the basic way your own judgment, rather than a legislature’s default formula, decides where your household’s resources go.

The real reason young parents cannot skip this

For most people without much net worth, the will’s most urgent job is not distributing money; it is naming a guardian. If both parents of a minor child die, or become unable to care for the child, a personal guardian must step in, and a will is where you and your child’s other parent name who that should be. Skip this step and a court decides instead, with no guarantee it lands on the person you would have chosen. The outcome can separate siblings, place children with relatives you would not have picked, or trigger a dispute between family members while your children absorb the instability. This single clause is, for most young families, worth more than every other line in the document combined.

A will as an act of love

Paul calls failing to provide for one’s own household a denial of the faith (1 Timothy 5:8), a striking, uncomfortable standard, and one many readers hold does not expire at death. A will is provision extended past the point where you can no longer earn, budget, or protect in person. It is also, quietly, an act of love toward the people who would otherwise be left to guess, or to fight, over what you wanted. Counting the cost before building (Luke 14:28) applies here in the most literal way: a will is counting the cost of your own absence while you are still able to.

What a basic will actually covers

A simple will typically:

• Names an executor, the person responsible for carrying out its instructions and settling the estate.
• Names guardians for minor children (and, separately, for any property left to them).
• States who receives which property, though beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, life insurance, and payable-on-death accounts override the will for those specific assets (more on this in the next lesson).
• Can forgive debts owed to you and specify how remaining debts, expenses, and taxes should be paid from the estate.

It does not need to be complicated to do its job. A basic will drafted through an attorney or a reputable self-help service, signed and witnessed correctly for your state, closes the gap that intestacy leaves wide open.

The practice

• If you have minor children and no will, treat that as the single most time-sensitive item on your financial to-do list, not because you expect to need it, but because guardianship should never be decided by a court under pressure.
• Name an executor you trust to actually do administrative work, not just someone you love.
• Once the will exists, move to the documents that work alongside it: see beneficiaries and other documents.